I walked home from a friends house the other night. I stepped out of the door at five minutes past midnight. There was no fluttering about me walking home alone. There was no instruction to message or call them to say I got home safe. There was just a hug goodbye and a farewell. A trust that I will get home safe, and that my own judgement about whether to walk or if I should get a taxi, was sound.

I am lucky. I have never been harassed or assaulted while outside at night. I have been harassed in daylight hours, on the street, and at work and assaulted in my own home, but ‘unsafe’ places and times have never caused me trouble. This puts me in the position of feeling quite comfortable walking around in the middle of the night, but avoiding certain places during the day. Outside I’d rather it be night than day, but at home sometimes I sleep with the light on cos I am afraid of the dark.

I know that one reason I have less trouble at night is because the way I dress and move is very masculine, so in the dark chances are people don’t even twig I am female, so I am not prone to the same harassment. In day light hours my gender is clear, and so I am open to harassment. I’ve even been kissed by customers while working at MAC1, or offered money for sex while dressed in my white shirt, and black pants at Dick Smith Electronics.
As for being assaulted in my own home… me and the other 2/3 of women that are raped by trusted friends or family members. I am not alone in that experience at all.

I sometimes wonder if being outside alone at night is really as dangerous as we are led to believe, or if this is just another example of trying to control women’s movement and freedom.
In my experience, the place I am unsafe is any place where there is someone that wants to hurt or frighten me. It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, or who else is around.