A long rambling post about my horrible day…

Yes, this is self indulgent, BITE ME.

A Shit Awful Day

So I have had an absolutely horrible day. I fucked up a mac installation, and a staff member didn’t back up their work, and by their powers combined, I am responsible for the disappearance of Important Work.

Anyway, Dented Blue Mercedes has a post about the trans-violence in recent months, which I recommend people go read. Here’s an extract:

Traditionally, there have been an average of 16 or 18 people added every year to the list of names we remember at TDoR. With potentially 15 people murdered in three months, we are seeing both an increase in the reporting of such violence, and an increase in the violence itself. Additionally concerning, several on the list are transgendered youths.

There’s a lot of mourning in the community at the moment. However, as Mercedes pointed out, we also need time to celebrate. A canadian activist holds a day of celebration on March 20 every year. Maybe we should too?

What do Canberran transpeople and allies say?

Human Rights: Article 16

From The Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Article 16.

(1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.

THIS would be why our government is so intent on defining marriage as being between a man and a woman. I had been wondering about it.
Other wise they have to admit that they are denying the LGBTI community a basic human right.

Spread the hate, and you spread the violence.

I have a friend, who is first, and foremost, a Christian. They are a Christian before they are a friend, before they are a doctor, before they are a teacher, before they are anything else, they are first a Christian.
I find that a little sad, and at times daunting. At least she is willing to call it as it is (ie She thinks that I am wrong) rather than pussy-footing around issues.
The thing is, her moral code applies to ‘all of Gods creation’, not just Christians. This means that because her God disapproves of homosexuality and transsexuality, the legal system of our great (supposedly secular) nation should reflect that.

She has never raised a hand to hurt a homosexual, or transsexual person. She is a person of privilege though. White, straight, cissexual. Soon to be a doctor. She sees us all as governed by a set of laws that she has no problem following. If we break those laws, then we are to be punished. Thats just the way it is.

It is people like that, who don’t do anything overtly dangerous, that allow this culture of hatred to breed, until children commit suicide, and teenagers are shot.

Violence Against Trans*people

A two and a half weeks ago this post appeared at Burning Words about police corruption, and violence against transwomen.

Two cases, so close together, in the same week. Here, in AUSTRALIA. It made me ashamed, really really ashamed of our police force.

Less than a week later Sanesha Stewart story hit the news, murdered by her boyfriend, implied to have been a sex worker by the press. (Reading that news article is going to make you really angry! The DISRESPECT! FUCK MAN!)

Not only that, but a 15 year old kid was shot AT SCHOOL by a class mate… for the crime of being feminine, and coming out as gay.

A few days later… a TEN YEAR OLD gender variant child was found after hanging himself. We don’t need other people to kill us with violence, they can kill us by our own hand.

Then, just when I thought it was over… when I thought that we wouldn’t hear of another tragedy for a few months at least… a few days ago a 17 year old was shot and killed.

Ceridwen Troy posted a moving article in one of the LiveJournal Communities called “How to Kill a Transperson“. I urge you to go read it.

This bothers me. This sudden rash of violence. I am sicked by humanity. The kinds of animals that would kill someone for being different barely deserve to be called ‘human’.

Mens Toilets, and Passing!

So, I figured that the other night at the party was an isolated experience, born out of alcohol, toga’s, and dimly lit rooms. I really did. I still found it exciting, but didn’t want to blow it out of proportion.

So anyway, tonight I was having a few drinks with a lovely young lady I know, who I have been out with a few times recently. I eventually needed to go to the bathroom, and so I wandered out the back, and tried to open the ladies room door. It was stuck. A guy coming out of the gents room said to me ‘Oh, you have to press the button.’ and showed me the button that was FIVE METERS away (forgive me for missing it! *rolls eyes*).
So I pressed it, but the door was still stuck. I was busting, so I pressed it once more, and then gave up.
I wondered what to do, and tried the disabled (unisex) toilet door. It was locked and needed a key to be opened.

I stood, torn. The mens room door, was WIDE OPEN. I took a step, and poked my head in around the corner. The two urinals were abandoned, so I decided to chance it, and rushed into the stall. I went to the toilet, and flushed, and then freaked out that maybe someone had come in to use the urinal while I was in the stall. Do I call out? Do I just walk out?
So I opened the door a crack, and used the mirror to peer at the urinals, which were still abandoned, and I dashed out again.

I found my way back to my friend, and sat down, and joked that those toilets were too complicated for me, with their button, and their locks.
She gave me a quizzical look, so I explained about my adventure into the mens room.
She gave me the most shocked look! She said “You use the women’s toilets!? Don’t you always use the mens?”
This surprised me, and so I replied “I can’t use the mens… I don’t pass.”
She gave me a surprised grin and said “You so do!”
I was somewhat taken aback by this, and said “No, I don’t. I really don’t.”

She then told me that her friend who we had run into last time we had met up, had simply assumed I was a regular guy, and so had referred to me only with male pronouns.
She didn’t bring it up cos she hadn’t realised what a big deal it would be for me to hear that.

So its not just in toga’s, and dimly lit rooms… its also in broad day light, in my street clothes. This means its hair cut time. This means, I am going to try for the MENS PRICE.

Oh yeah!

Dread Priest in a Toga!

I went to a toga party last night. I wore a black t-shirt, and a black doona cover, and ended up looking like some kind of insane priest, swathed in a black habit.

Anyway, I had some cheap booze, checked out the crop of first year uni students and met some new people.
It is very rare that I am actually in a situation where I am dressed such that my figure is not apparent, and I am with people who don’t know me as ‘female’… I think that because of that, I have underestimated my ability to confuse people about my gender.

So last night, when I found out that people hadn’t been able to figure out if I was a guy or a chick, I was somewhat thrilled.

*preens*

Passably Androgynous

So, I went to a party.

Someone had to ask whether I was a guy or a girl after I left the conversation.

oooh yeah.

More later, when sober.

Blog Clean Up

CM is currently seeing its blogroll and categories completely overhauled!!!!

(So don’t panic)

Feminist Bloggers and Other Armchair Generals

A while back, there were a number of posts about the role of feminist blogging in the fight for women’s rights. There were a number of people that felt many feminist bloggers were rather useless. They just write posts, that no one reads except for like minded people. Activists asked: “What is the point of preaching to the converted?”

So I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit. On the one hand, if only people that agree with you read your blog, and those that disagree are not drawn to change their mind, if they do stumble across your blog, what is the point anyway? You are in fact one of the armchair feminists that were complained about so vehemently.

Most of these bloggers argue that they are ‘raising awareness’ which the activists seem to doubt. I know that Cheerful Megalomaniac does raise awareness. A number of people who have (or had) no clue read this blog, and some of them are indeed becoming staunch allies. (Of course, I know most of these people in real life as well, and so they get double impact of my PERSONAL CHARISMA too. *winks*)

I think that CM is really important, not least, because it is important to *me*.

However, CM is not changing anything other than a few peoples opinions. Myself, and my peers in the Collective for Civil Unions changed things, but we did it through real life. Meeting in person, rallying here in Canberra. (I heard the other day, that we now have teenage fan-girls who think we are awesome cool. I’ve never been ‘cool’ before.)

I have heard activists completely discount blogs as an agent of change. They say ‘Change doesn’t happen on the internet, it happens on the street!’. Its true, that change happens more effectively on the street.

I think that blogging and activism are symbiotic. Lets take my story for example.
About 18 months ago, I knew nothing about feminism. Absolutely jack all. I knew nothing about queer rights, transsexuality, activism, sex-worker rights, or anything even vaguely related to these topics. I had good instincts, but no focus. I was a dormant sleeper.
One of my teachers at uni was opinionated, and interesting. In cyber-stalking him (which he challenged us to do in class, so I am slightly less creepy than I sound) I discovered his girlfriend, who was even more fascinating than a very fascinating thing. Then I discovered her ‘Anti-Oppression Link Round Up’.
FEMINIST BLOGS ENTERED MY WORLD.
Feminist Blogs like Pandagon, Feministing and Feministe, helped me deal with a lot of internal misogyny, stop me from being such a NiceGuy(tm), and changed my way of looking at women, and at my female body. Later blogs like abyss2hope helped me recover from sexual assault, and now blogs like Drakyn’s and Jacky’s stop me feeling all alone as a transman. Hugo’s blog provides me with the mentoring that I never had as a young man growing up as a young woman.

In 18 months I went from being completely ignorant of a whole world of ideology and support, to having my own blog, where I wax on about things, and hope I can trigger change for someone else, the way so many others did for me.

More importantly though, over the last 6 months or so, I have been developing enough courage to step away from my keyboard, and get involved in real life activism. First as a spectator, and more recently as an organiser.

So, maybe blogs don’t change the world… but they can change a few lives, and if those lives change, there are more people to step up, and cry out for change in legislation, and societies structure.

I think that individuals are just as important as The System. Of course, changing The System will help a lot of individuals, but I enjoy blogging, and my blogging might help recruit another Individual to join the fight to change the System.