There’s a new Australian Porn mag called Spunk that is due to be launched soon. More info about it can be found here at The Space Behind My Eyes. Now, the cut of for contributions has past, but if you want to contribute something now, I understand that they will still take things for a little longer if you ask nicely.

The reason I am bringing this up is because there is a fabulous list of different kinds of masculinity in that post, and frankly I’m fascinated. I think that often trans men can get caught up in trying to present the approved form of masculinity, in order to pass, and to fit in with other t-boys. The gatekeeper process also values those presentations of masculinity, making it easier to transition if you either naturally display that form of masculinity, or can fake it well enough for your appointments.

I’ve been having rolling gender crises recently as I renegotiate my identity, and integrate many of the new things I have learned about identity and gender and queerness and masculinity and transness and assimilation and seperatism and radical politics and lesbians and fags and genderqueers and stuff…

I’m not a manly man. I don’t even know if I’m a man anymore. Maybe I’m a boy? A boi? Maybe I’m a boydyke or a girlfag or a girlboy-fagdyke??? Maybe I would have been queer even if I was born male?
I think that a person is truly genderqueer when they have deconstructed their own gender to the point where they don’t even know what gender they are anymore.

I’ve reached that point.

Even if I don’t know what gender I am, I know what I want. I am more certain than ever before. I want top surgery, and to keep taking T. I don’t want bottom surgery cos I love my little dicklet as it is. I want to get hairier, and more muscular. I want to wear pretty dresses and skirts. I want to wear pants, and ties, and suspenders. I want to find a very fine hat, even if it makes me look like a girl. I want to wear eyeliner, and I want to be a walking, living, breathing deliberate parody of traditional heterosexual masculinity.