My internet hasn’t been working recently, so I have been forced to go nomadic with my work laptop. I am currently steelin’ internets from Fenner Hall (a college at ANU). It took me 25 mins to figure out how to get on the network…My enrollment has been suspended it seems. I left my enrolment too late. Most upsetting. I have to pay a late fee of $125 if I want to enroll. It doesn’t seem worth it frankly. *growls* Anyway, in other news! My time offline has been spent writing many blog posts! It has also been spent PLOTTING with Farida to start a joint comic-blog which will probably be called “The Centre for Insanity”. We haven’t finalised that yet. So on to the many posts I have written!

Controversial is an adjective which means ‘to give rise to, or be likely to give rise to public disagreement‘.

I would never have imagined myself to be controversial, or my art or writing to be so. At some point I became controversial. Since my ‘Dead Men Don’t Rape’ t-shirt being blocked I have slowly come to realise that some of my ideas are subject to public disagreement.

I have been googled a bit of late. Googling my full name gives new acquaintances, and colleagues access to a plethora of information about myself and my past, and has lead to a few awkward moments of ‘public nakedness’. One of the people that googled me asked me if my art and writing, being so publicly available concerned me, particularly that which references the abuse I suffered as a child. I said that no, it doesn’t.

When I upload something to the internet it leaves my hands. It is forever outside of my control. It can be viewed, duplicated, redistributed, googled, copied, altered and completely destroyed. I can’t stop any of this. Obviously I do not want my intellectual property stolen, and if I found someone profiting off my pain, and hard emotional work, I would most certainly kick their arse from here to the highest court in the world, be that necessary. However, I acknowledge that risk. Some of my art stays safely on my computer. Some doesn’t leave the sketchpad. I have a diary which is a book that never leaves my bag, and never gets reread, by myself or anyone else.

When I make my personal experiences and opinions available on the internet it is for a reason, and that reason is to destroy secrecy, and raise awareness. I was sexually molested when I was six. Five years later, when I was eleven, the perpetrator confessed and I was interviewed by the police. My mother punished me for not telling her about it sooner. I was 21 when I finally found out that yes, the man that molested me was punished. Ten long years of believing he got away with it, of being sent to my room whenever I asked about it, of everyone knowing, and no one speaking to me about it.The secrecy gave me a lot of heart ache, and bred in me a lot of anger, and resentment which disappeared the moment I found out that I was wrong. If someone had simply told me all those years ago, that he was very very wrong, and was punished for his actions, I would have been able to come to grip with so many things so much sooner.

I need people to see the pain, to see the healing and some people need to see it. Some people need to see that even though they have been through something similar, there is hope at the end of the tunnel. Others need to see that this abuse does happen, and this needs to be addressed by society.

I am unashamed. I do not care if people know that once, when I was powerless, someone bigger, stronger, and more in control than I was able to molest and abuse me. That isn’t my fault. It isn’t my mother’s fault. It isn’t his parents fault, or the church we belonged to. It was HIS action. It was HIS fault.If someone can think less of me because I have been sexually abused, then well… they are probably already preoccupied by my gender representation, or queerness, or non-traditional career path.

I spent a fabulous weekend writing for NaNoWriMo (up to 2240 words!), and hanging out with my fabulous best friend, who was visiting from Melbourne. We went to the National Art Gallery today, and oh, how beautiful it was. It made me crave being artistic. It really did.

I am quite busy at the moment. For the next few weeks I am helping out the organisers of the Youth Contingent of National Walk Against Warming, I am helping paint a banner for the Free Burma Protest, working full time at the Newsagency, trying to spend time with new friends and old, its Spring Out (Canberra’s Queer Festival), I have my novel for NaNoWriMo, and I need to get in touch with the wonderful women at Canberra Rape Crisis Centre about their website.

ITS GREAT!

Unfortunately this means that until the end of November, I am unlikely to be updating this blog with more than infrequent, and light posts.
However, so I don’t forget, I really wanted to write a list of specific posts that I would like to cover, so that you can all start salivating over them. (This blog is starting to get a reasonable amount of traffic given its only three weeks old).

1. Foster Care Availability in Australia. (I read the other day that in 2001 there were 17 000 children in need of homes, and only 9 000 foster carers!)

2. 2007 Election is on the 24th! There is a WORLD of stuff to write about here!

3. Book Reviews
– Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office
– Greylands
– Girl Genius
– White Tiger 1-6

4. Critique of the ‘Child Protection’ Situation in the Northern Territory

At the moment I feel excited to simply be alive. The world seems particularly full of possibility. Full of art to be created, and stories to be written, and ideas and events, and so many things to investigate, and participate in.
I hope everyone is having a fabulous November!

Donations to the Rhian Rental Fund have risen to $108.50!

Thank you to everyone that has supported me so far, it is AWESOME! I really appreciate it.

It’s only Sunday, and I have until Tuesday to raise the other $291.50, its not too late to donate!

Yes, its that time of the fortnight!
That time when I realise that I have 5 days left to find $400 for my rent, and its just not looking that promising.

So now, my little minions, you have the option of donating to the Starving-Rhian fund! Isn’t that a thing of wonder?

Should you feel inclined to give a couple of dollars, you can go to the Donate Page or hell, you can click straight on this Paypal link, you eager beaver you!

I am moving across from Blogger to WordPress because frankly I was very unhappy with some of the bugs I was experiencing with logging in. When I checked out WordPress they offer a much much more comprehensive service. Also the default WordPress themes are gorgeous. I mean, check out the one I am using right now, it’s by someone named Stacey Leung and its just lovely. I love it. My blog is PRETTY now. I like pretty things.

Now, hopefully this change of address means a more frequently updated Cheerful Megalomaniac blog for you! Isn’t that exciting! I know I am thrilled.